life lessons

I keep wondering why life sucks so bad. Well at least for me it does. I've come to terms that I probably won't ever find a special someone. I have gotten comfortable with the idea and have decided that I will move away from this crap town and find a place of my own where I can have a dog. Yep.
Well anyway, back to life sucking. I know why... It's because I don't fit in anywhere. At least not anywhere in this mormon infested town. Not that I dislike them. Be serious, they are my best friends. The sucky part is, that I am not one of them. I don't know why, but something that is a huge part of me turns me away from the church anytime I start to get remotely close. This leads to me being part of the group, accepted and liked, but leaves me at a dead end. The only relationships I can really form with them are mild friendships. Of course there are exceptions to that... Alycia... and maybe Jackie... whom I believe will be a part of my life forever. See the majority of them are all just focused on getting married. Once they do, they no longer remain friends with other people... well not really anyway. And then there's the fact that I can't have a relationship with any of the guys for the fact that I am not one of them. I have learned that lesson one too many times. No more mormon boys for me... ha.
It's not just the mormons that I don't "fit" in with though... it's also the party crowd, which seems to be the only other crowd in this town besides the mormons... I'm even the odd one out in my family. It's sad, but true. I don't fit anywhere.
You are right. Maybe I haven't looked hard enough to find people more like me. Or maybe Pocatello just isn't the right fit. I have even been repeatedly told recently that I need to change. You know like "if you aren't getting what you want, you need to change what you want". These ideas of lowering my standards appall me and so do any that mean I need to change the core of my self to belong anywhere in this world. I feel like crap. I want to move.. to see if it's just Pocatello, or if I'm destined to be alone in life. I realize that no 2 people have the exact same standards, values, or all around belief system... but I'm just so much different. The outlier on one of those dot graphs; the number they throw out of the equation when finding the average.
I'm all alone.